


Sentiment

by Cinnamongirl



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Anora is so serious, Cousland is kind of a dork, F/M, Political Marriage, and not even in a cute way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-09 23:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3267728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinnamongirl/pseuds/Cinnamongirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anora's reaction when the Warden disappears.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sentiment

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for Tumblr a long time ago (before DAI was released) and finally got around to posting it here. As such, it doesn't contain any spoilers for DAI that we didn't already know by the end of DA2.

Anora was dismayed but not exactly surprised to realize that her future, and with it the fate of Ferelden, lay in the hands of several men. There was not only her father but Eamon, Maric’s bastard who had recently appeared out of nowhere, and now the younger son of the Teyrn of Highever, and she couldn’t NOT feel resentful that her record of ruling the country successfully for years was ultimately less significant than their whims.

When Aedan Cousland suggested that he marry her and allow her to keep the throne in exchange for her support at the Landsmeet, he presented it calmly and logically, as if he was proposing a treaty or a business deal. She was surprised at first, but the fact that he spoke to her as an equal attracted her attention. She had power and influence, but so did he, and he went out of his way to make it clear that he wasn’t trying to flex his political muscle and intimidate her into assisting him. Similarly, Cousland didn’t try to waste time sweetly condescending to her in a misguided attempt at manipulation, as men often did. He was respectful and reasonable and his offer appeared to be sound.

Anora couldn’t help but wonder if Cousland was interested in marrying her because it was his only option for finding a wife. As as second son and a Grey Warden, he was hardly an ideal match for a noblewoman. Cousland certainly could never hope to attract a woman physically; to say that he was a plain man would be generous. On the other hand, Cailan had been handsome and Anora was in love with him once. She was very much aware that love and beauty were not enough to sustain a marriage.

When the day of the Landsmeet arrived, Anora was not disappointed. Cousland supported her and, in an unexpected turn of events, recruited her father into the Grey Wardens. The armies that her betrothed had amassed were well-equipped and he led them effectively in the final battle that ended the Blight. Military commanders and kings require different skill sets, obviously, but the evidence of Cousland’s leadership ability was encouraging. Her father died in the same battle. Anora was heartbroken but she had to admit that while very few people get to choose how they die, her father’s first choice would have been to die fighting as a war hero.

The wedding itself took place not long after that. Neither Anora nor her new husband had a lot of input in the planning process. It was important for them to be as traditional as possible in order to reassure the people of Ferelden that the legacy King Calenhad began would be continued, even if his bloodline wasn’t.

They were expected to sleep together at least once to consummate the marriage. Cousland (as she was in the habit of calling him, even now that they were married) apologized beforehand, admitting that he had only a little experience with women but that he would be honored to learn how to please her. Anora firmly explained that it was not necessary for her to enjoy the process, only that it be done. To her relief, he did not try to argue. Cousland was gentle but efficient. Cailan had been known to turn sex into a cliched, melodramatic performance that he’d heard women were supposed to enjoy and then feel upset and insecure if Anora did not pretend to enjoy herself, but her new husband had no such expectations. The overall experience was not unpleasant and she found that Cousland looked the same as any other man when the lights were extinguished.

Afterward, he brought up the fact that they were expected to produce an heir. He did not mention her own presumed infertility, but instead apologetically told her that conception was very unlikely because of secret reasons relating to his affiliation with the Grey Wardens. They agreed to spend up one year attempting to conceive a child.

They hadn’t been married very long when Cousland was called to Vigil’s Keep to fight the darkspawn once again, but he triumphed and returned to court in a matter of months.

Cousland proved to be knowledgeable about politics and his judgment was consistently sound. This did not stop him from easily deferring to Anora, never forgetting that she was the Queen. She found herself seeking out his input and relying on him more frequently as time went on, and he never disappointed.

She learned that her husband preferred his food to be disturbingly spicy, but he did at least have good taste in liquor. He had no musical talent himself, even though he enjoyed listening to musical performances. However, he was not lazy or frivolous. Cousland worked very hard, and spent most of his free time studying and learning about politics and the art of governing. Anora noticed that he always stayed up late and woke up early.

The process of trying to conceive was less uncomfortable than she had feared. She tracked her menses and invited her husband to her bedroom on the days when conception was possible. Cousland continued to express concern for her pleasure. At first, it seemed too intimate to make herself vulnerable in this way, but the idea became more reasonable as she spent more time around her husband and grew to trust him. Eventually, in the third month, she explained what she liked and showed him how to touch her in order to bring her to climax. Cousland was a fast learner in this as he was in everything else and she found herself inviting him to bed on occasion during the off weeks as well.

When the year was up and they had not produced an heir, he took full responsibility for what he referred to as his “failure.” He explained that he would be honored to continue to bed her, but he had no expectations or demands. To her knowledge (and nothing happened in her court without her knowledge) her husband had not taken any other women. She had to admit that she was somewhat surprised. After Cailan, she’d come to think of it as just something that kings--and probably most other men--do, whether or not they are married. Anora smiled at her husband and said that she had enjoyed his company, and would be happy to enjoy it more in the future. She left the lights on after that.

In their second year of marriage, Cousland confessed that he had fallen in love with her. “My Queen,” he said, (because that was what he called her with respect when they were in public, and with affection when they were alone together) “I must admit that I love you.”

She waited for him to continue, feeling apprehensive that this confession was the prelude to placing unreasonable expectations on her, or perhaps an attempt to manipulate her.

He continued, “You are far less foolish and sentimental than myself so I do not expect you to feel the same way. My feelings for you are but a compliment, to take or reject as you wish.”

She actually laughed in relief and kissed him.

Ferelden prospered under her rule, but everyone knew that the King-Consort played an important role. Over the years, he came to be as beloved and respected by the people as she was. Anora found that she felt admiration and gratitude when she looked at him. He traveled frequently in order to carry out the diplomatic responsibilities that were part of his position, but everything was more comfortable when he was home.

They had been married for almost a decade when he came to her with another confession. “My Queen, I must depart on a long journey, and I am not able to tell you why, or when I will return. There is a possibility that I will never come back.”

“What are you saying?” she asked, shocked. “Is this more Grey Warden business?”

“It is… related, yes. Only know that I would not do this if I had any other option.” He took her hand in his, and looked her straight in the eye. “I’m sorry, Anora.”

She started to protest, and then stopped when she noticed the tears forming in the corners of his eyes.

He left early the next morning.

Anora did not see him after that. At first, she respected his wishes and his privacy and did not look for him. After months of no contact, she started making discreet inquiries but found nothing. No one had any news of the man who so recently lived a very public life. It was as if he had vanished without a trace. Anora realized that he may never come back, and she wept for the first time since her father had died.

She asked herself many times after that if she had been in love with him after all. The only answer she could come to was that she had not in fact loved her husband, but that he had been a dear friend and a respected partner whose loss hurt her deeply. She wondered if perhaps she was vulnerable to sentimentality after all.


End file.
